Liberal America
by TheScratcher
Summary: The opinion of Ann Coulter not really


**Terrorists And Liberal America** _The objective and secular opinion of Ann Coulter_

The world will bear an eternal scar for the remainder of its existence following the tragedy wrought upon the United States on September 11, 2001. Unparalleled by any previous event in American history, the 9/11 attacks have impacted U.S. society in uncountable and immeasurable ways. Most notably, the government has taken extra steps since the attacks to prevent foreign terrorists from gaining access to the country through airplane transportation. A solution often referred to and enacted is the governmental right to execute a "background check" on a citizen.

"A collective 'we don't care about you or your privacy' from the government," say those feisty, reckless and non-sensible liberals. Fulfilling the governmental obligation of protection of the citizenry? "Fourth amendment!" cries the left. Making sure terrorist stay off American soil? "Not if it means my trip to the Bahamas is a few hours shorter."

This as the ignorant and foolish Michael Moore's of the public domain continue to ignore the influx of the enemy on American soil. Already infecting the populous, these people are relentless in their attack on the U.S. and it's motives - the achievement of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They are born out of foreign soil and are now bred like cattle on our hallowed land.

Look for the blue eyes.

They swarm city streets and school hallways. They're at the workplace. They infest our homes. Our children are being born into the devilish cult. These fiends pose a legitimate threat to the freedoms our founding fathers died at the stake in honor of and pose an imminent threat to every member of the citizenry. Just glare at their eyes and ponder - are they blue?

Who's to blame for this catastrophe? The liberals, of course. The conservative foundation that feeds the hungry minds of the Rush Limbaugh's, Bill O'Reilly's and Sean Hannity's of the pundit world in Washington, D.C. has established a theorem as to how blue eyes have infected so much of the American population. Their theory is far from outlandish - it's rather practical, in fact. The left has left our borders with more holes than swiss cheese. The government can't even give suspicious people a mere glare without the whiny and cumbersome liberals yelping "woe is me" and petitioning the Supreme Court. Hannity, one of the more respected political pundits in American history and a man who is well-regarded for his objective lenses when peering at the issues, has openly proposed the proverbial "icing on the cake" - that the liberals, with intent, are engaged in a vendetta aimed towards America.

This is not the first time the left has been involved in deviations from the accepted. Much to the chagrin of conservatives throughout America, liberals were directly linked to venues of inhumanity ranging from mad cow disease, the aforementioned HIV virus and the Holocaust to poor test grades, celery and the Yankees' playoff woes. It is no shock to the well-represented Republican party that the same Democrats that adamantly supported sex outside wedlock - as they themselves have exemplified in the not-too-distant past - are behind this devious terrorist plot.

This is my call for immediate action. The blue-eyed terrorists and the liberals that so vehemently support their existence on the land we so proudly stand freely atop are inevitable threats to our right to mere life. It must be the primary objective of our country and its people to sniff out those who do not believe in freedom and do not have particular desire to live the American dream. This includes all with blue eyes - and yes, this includes every anemic, decrepit hippy liberal on our soil, running rampant with words of poison throughout our government, on our talk radio, their eyes piercing through our televisions.

Liberals are easily spotted. Most of them can be caught with relative ease doing some sort of gateway drug, notably marijuana (and they tried to play the "health uses" card on us?). Check for an unhealthy array of ear or body rings, and for unkempt and provocatively long hair. It is essential that we eliminate them from our streets, from our homes, and ultimately from our society.

Established is the ultimate necessity to capture these evil-doers. I'm also ready to provide a viable solution as necessary. Attack the liberals with their worst enemy - background checks. Only now, the entire willing population is responsible for sifting out any blue-eyed human or suspected liberal they bestow their eyes upon. All our proud citizens will be vested with the loaded weaponry that the left menaces against and weaponry that will now be used to prevent fleeing liberals from escaping the firm hands of justice. Freely available through use of the "internets" will be a database complete with information depicting every liberal on file - from place of residence to occupation to their favorite salad dressing. All participants will receive daily phone calls from government officials describing liberals on the run near them. Jumbo screens the size of football stadiums will list convicted liberals and identify left-winged horse manure in the streets below.

The President must rally his citizens around this noble cause. Liberal America must be destroyed from the root of its tree up, along with the terrorists they so vigorously harbored - they and their blue eyes. Put away your morals, put away the love you have for your husband, your wife, your child, your cousin - if they are terrorist or have an ounce of left in their blood, they must be eliminated.


End file.
